Smile, Chuckle and Laugh
by Minerva Arhedes
Summary: A few hilarious Percy Jackson one-shots.
1. Truth or Dare

When Thalia yelled Truth or dare, I knew we were in for a fun night.

"Truth or dare, Percy?" Nico said. Now, the fun starts.

"Truth.", I answered a little too nonchalantly.

"Do you like ... hot dogs?" Well, that was unexpected. Wait, why is he asking me that!

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Ummmmm... Yes?"

"Hmmmmm... Interesting." He flashed a weird creepy grin thing and continued pacing.

"Truth or dare, Annabeth?" Nico said again.

"Um, dare, I mean, truth!" Annabeth said. I can't believe it! I finally witnessed the day Annabeth was tongue tied. I snorted and Annabeth glared at me. The glare wasn't something like _'I know! It's true!'_ The glare said,_' Keep that up, buddy and you won't see tomorrow.'_ I immediately shut up.

"Do you like ... hot dogs?" Nico said.

"Again?"

"Again."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Ummmmm... No?"

"Hmmmmm... Interesting." He flashed the weird creepy grin thing again and continued pacing.

"Hey, Nico, you got two turns! Not fair!" Thalia yelled.

"Cool down. You can take my turn." Annabeth said. I snorted again. The great Annabeth Chase was telling someone to cool down?! She glared at me again. _'Continue that, buddy, and really will kill you._' I shut up.

"Nico, I dare you to tell me your deepest, darkest secret." Thalia said.

Nico gulped and answered," I never ate a hot dog?!"

Annabeth yelped," Seriously?"

Nico sighed and replied," Seriously."

I flashed Nico's weird creepy grin thing. "Hmmmmm... Interesting."


	2. The AudioVisual

The AudioVisual is the thing that made Percy's day go bad. It wasn't the dumb hairbrush or even the lack of attention, it was the AudioVisual.

Percy was just lazing around Half-Blood Hill when I heard me.

"Hey, Percy! Hear this AudioVisual!"

"What in Hades's name is an AudioVisual?"

"It is a combination of audio and vision, pretty much like a movie. Anyway, just hear!" I thrust a small envelope in his hands. It was blank except for a big box in the middle.

"Look through the box." Percy did and this is what we saw- a pink room with a pink bed with pink pillows and pink bed sheets and a pink make up place. On the bed was a beautiful woman. I can't explain what she looked like because her looks kept changing. I knew immediately who she was- Aphrodite. Next to her was a woman with dark hair and stormy gray eyes. I was looking at Athena.

"Hi, dearies! As you can see, I am perfectly NOT contended. Perfectly not! My favourite tool has been lost! Can you guess what it is? ", Aphrodite said.

"Ummmmm... a hairbrush?" I tried. It seemed correct; I wasn't willing to make a mistake in front of my mom.

"Correct. Now need you to find it."

"Hey, Mom! Did you check the room yet?" I said.

"Annabeth, I told her to. But, as you know, she is Aphrodite. She is entirely convinced she needs you demigods for help."

"Aphrodite, can you look under your bed?" I asked.

"Sure thing, dearie!" She looked under her bed and shocker- there was a pink hairbrush! Wow great! Note the sarcasm.

"So, did you need my help?"

"Of course not! I needed an excuse to use the AudioVisual!"

"Why, you little..." My mom started to scold her. The connection broke ad the paper dissolved. I turned to Percy. He was staring into space.

"PERCY!"

"What- how- who- why-"I cut him off in the middle.

"Did you even HEAR or SEE the AudioVisual? The one Athena and Aphrodite sent us? The one about the hairbrush?"

"Two questions. What in Hades's name is an AudioVisual? And, why does Athena have to send it? Couldn't have been Poseidon or someone much cooler than her?"

"Come." I said, dragging him by the ear." You and I have a lot to talk about."


	3. The Copycat and her Necklace

Zeus was relaxing only to be disturbed by couple of screams.

"Give it back Apollo!"

"Not until you say that you are Arty, Apollo's baby sister."

"Never!"

"Then you will never get it back!"

"Give the necklace. You know that Leto gave one to both of us. It has sentimental value."

"You'd better watch out. You'd better not cry. You'd better shut up. And I'm telling you why. Artemis is out for revenge!"

"I don't think teasing her will help her submit to you." Ares mused.

"Okay." Artemis said.

Zeus looked on in surprise. Was Artemis actually admitting defeat? She muttered something so softly that not even Apollo could hear.

"Ehh? Can't hear you!" Leave it Apollo to rub it in.

"I AM ARTY, APOLLO'S BABY SISTER! NOW GIVE THE DAMN NECKLACE!"

"Sheesh, okay." he said pouring it into her hand," You act like Aphrodite when you lose it."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"What is so bad in acting like me?" Leave it to Aphrodite to have her priorities straight.

"You like make up and accessories." Artemis repied.

"Like necklaces." Apollo added.

"Shut up."

There suddenly was a clang from the front of the room. Everyone looked up to see Hephaestus recording the entire exchange.

"Hephaestus..." Aphrodite said.

"Yes?"

"I am going to kill you!" Artemis and Apollo roared.

"You can't kill me, I'm a god!" Talk about cheeky.

"Good point..." Artemis said," Apollo, guess what is in my hand?"

"Ooooh, let me try! I love guessing games!" Aphrodite said," A hairclip? A barrette? A fork?"

"It is your necklace! The one mommy Leto gave itsy witsy baby Apollo."

"Arty, sis, give it back. Please, please, PLEASE!"

"Not until you say that you are Apollo, the great Artemis's baby brother."

"Copycat!"


	4. Detention

Detention. That one word has an effect on all of us. For most people, it brings back bad memories. Me? I laugh so hard my blue cookies come out of my nose.

It was after the summer when I defeated Kronos. Thankfully, Goode had not changed their mind about keeping me, even after I exploded the fire hydrant outside the school, releasing water torture on them. Anyway, I was super excited to go back to school, even though I'm not the nerdy, geeky kind. Why? Well, this is why.

"Grover! Don't eat the aluminium of my sandwich!"

"Sorry, Thalia! It's just so-"

"-tasty. Grover, are you joking?"

"Percy, when did Grover joke when it comes to food?"

"Annabeth!"

"Now I've nothing for lunch. _Someone_ ate half of my sandwich with the wrapper!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"Did you mean it?"

"Of course I did!"

"Really?"

"Not at first! Please don't kill me! I am too young to die!"

"Grover, technically you are 32."

"Annabeth, don't go into technicalities! We've got to stop Thalia from frying Grover into a goat flavoured French fry! I mean, an American fry."

You might be wondering whether if Grover survived. In reply to your question, he was rescued. Not by Annabeth and I. He was saved by the bell. It is honourable to be saved by me or any other great demigod, even if you are in debt to us. But to be saved by the bell!? Who wants to be rescued by such a lame-o thing? Plus, you are in debt to it. Imagine it. In debt to the bell!

Anyway, let's not stray from the topic. Goode High has an interesting set of teachers. Some teachers can be pretty cool, like Paul Blowfish. Others are simply the definition of disgusting.

We'll take homeroom for example. This year unfortunately, my homeroom teacher surpassed the definition of yuck. She practically looked like she had never heard of makeup.

Which would explain the oily hair.

And the flabby cheeks.

Which did not work with the teacher attitude.

Overall, my teacher resembled a toad. A slimy, smelly toad. It didn't help that her name was Ms. Gross.

Anyway, homeroom is the reason I got detention.

In the first period.

On the first day of school.

Why I am not surprised?

The first thing she said was something along the lines of _'Honey, you have detention.'_

It didn't help when Thalia said with suitable coughs," I noticed that awesome ends with me and ugly starts with you."

Which of course made Grover snort.

Which made Annabeth chuckle.

Which made Grover blush .

Which made Thalia guffaw.

Which made Ms. Gross clear her throat.

Which made all of us look at her.

Which made her say," Attention! Percy, dear, you have detention because the freshman you are touring today has got detention for making unwanted jokes in his questionnaire."

Of course , I was stung by this injustice. It's my freaking fault that the freaking freshman fooled in his questionnaire? Not!

Ms. Gross handed me the questionnaire of the freshman I was going to murder.

**GOODE HIGH SCHOOL**

_It's Good to be at Goode_

**ENTRANCE QUESTIONNAIRE**

Name: _Nico di Angelo_

Age: _14 or 84- you pick_

Special Talents: _I see dead people. They walk. They talk to me._

Q. What do you think about Goode High's summer orientation?

A. _I'm sorry, I couldn't make it. I was kind of busy helping my relatives kill my grandfather._

Q. What made you come to Goode High?

A. _My stepmom hates me and my Dad is basically the devil. So, why did I come?_

Q. Do you like Goode High?

A. _Everything is cool, except for the cheesy slogan. It's Goode to be at Goode? Seriously? Grow up, people. Then, the security problem. I heard that a crazy bomb throwing cheerleader was here two years ago. Wooooow. You gotta tighten up you security, man. Or woman. Or whatever._

I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. Ms. Gross looked at me like- _whaaat? _ Thalia snatched paper and read it. She ended up snorting so loud that tears came out of her eyes. Annabeth and Grover were no better.

In the end of the day, we went to the detention room with Nico. However, with four demgiods and a satyr, detention can be fun. Very fun, indeed.


	5. Who's elder?

It was a normal day in Olympus. That was until the twins entered the room.

"I'm elder!" screamed Artemis

"No, I'm elder!" screamed Apollo.

"No, I am!"

"No, me!"

"Me!"

"ME!"

"AAARGH!" Artemis shouted.

Zeus massaged his head. It was not easy being king of the gods with everyone arguing at every possible opportunity. First Ares and Hephaestus, then Athena and Poseidon, Demeter and Hades (whenever he's around), Hera and Aphrodite and Artemis, Apollo and Ares, Hermes and nearly every other god and now the twins. Now he came to think about it, he was probably the least argumentative god. That was until-

"Alright, you two! Stop BICKERING!" Zeus shouted.

Beside him, Hera sniffed. "You do know, if you never cheated on me none of this would have-"

"Not now, Hera."

Hera rose to her full height. "Not now? Not now? Really, that's all you say anymore. Oh, I knew I shouldn't have marred you. All you do is use me as an unattainable prize until you get bored of me. Demeter was right. She could have got me married to the god of doctors or the god of lawyers but nooo! You just had to take an interest in me. And I-"

You know what? Scratch that about being the least argumentative god. He was just as bad as the rest of his crazy immortal family.

"Anyway, day comes first so I'm elder! HA!"

"Nope, little bro. Night comes fist so I'm elder! Back at you!"

"Day!"

"Night!"

"Day!"

"NIGHT!"

"AAARGH!" Apollo screamed.

Zeus sighed. Polar opposites but twins. So close yet so far apart. Oh, why couldn't he have been one of those lucky fathers who had identical twins that never argued? On the other end of the throne room, Ares chuckled. Zeus got up. Time to stop this before this becomes out of hand.

"SILENCE!"

The throne room fell silent accordingly. Zeus stared at them. He wasn't expecting this much of an immediate response.

"This was understandable when you were a few centuries old or even a few millennia! Grow up you both! NOW!"

"But-"

"Not buts! Apologise."

Artemis gazed at her brother. " you first."

Apollo gazed back with equal attitude. "Not at all! Ladies first."

"Ladies? Are you accusing me of being one of those helpless damsels you always take advantage of?"

"It wasn't accusing so much as saying!"

"Why you little-"

Zeus cleared his throat. The twins looked at each other. "Sorry." They muttered quietly.

"Again, like you mean it."

"Sorry!" they muttered not loudly but audibly.

Zeus smiled. "Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?'

"No, father."

Artemis spoke up. "I just had a thought, father. You must know who is elder then, if you were around when we were born, like you told us."

Zeus started sweating. He wasn't around when they were born, not like he told them. That was the reason he couldn't stop the fighting he didn't know the answer!

"Yeah," Apollo scoffed. "But I'm obviously the elder one."

"No, I am!"

"No, me!"

"Me!"

"ME!"

Zeus sighed. Some problems even gods can't fix.


End file.
